I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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