I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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