oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
