she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
