youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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