So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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