so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
