i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
