I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize