Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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