cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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