Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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