i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
