I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i now understand why vodka
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
