Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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