You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
