Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
