well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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