Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
