What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
