I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize