Dual....:-)
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
