She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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