if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
