Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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