is your mom at the bar?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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