is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
