I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She even gives head with a lisp.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
