Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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