508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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