How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
