I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
