my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
