I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
