Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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