I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
