she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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