seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
