just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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