when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
