No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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