We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
