Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i need some magic done to my vagina
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
