problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
