Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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