eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize