My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
