Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
