yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think I sprained my soul last night
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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