puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
