He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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