i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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