She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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