it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
