i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
