she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
