Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
