Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Randomize
