are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
