She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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