she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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