kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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