so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
