I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
