Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
MIDGETS
????
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
