I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
