idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize