Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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