How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
