last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
