i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
