i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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