And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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